Do Calories Matter? A More Nourishing Way to Think About Food and Energy

Think about your first exposure to the word “calories". For most of us, the word “calories” was never neutral. It was something to watch, limit, or burn off.

We heard our moms and aunts and babysitters and mentors say, "how many calories does that have?" and "this only has 100 calories!" and "I'm going to need to burn so many calories after the cake I ate today." It's no wonder we perceive them to be harmful and have put so much focus on them.

But despite all the attention we’ve given calories, so many women still feel:

• exhausted

• stuck in their weight

• constantly thinking about food

So the question becomes:

👉 What if calories aren’t the main thing we should be focusing on?

Why Counting Calories Isn’t Working (And What Your Body Actually Needs Instead)

The truth is, calories are energy. They're not inherently fat-creators, they're not enemies to be burned off, they're part of what contributes to our body's function. And if we're not getting enough of them, guess what?

Our body is not going to function. So while yes, there can be an issue of too many calories, a lot of us are facing the problem of not enough consistent & nourishing calories.

And maybe we’re lost in the weeds of calories and macros instead of just honing in on real, enjoyable, nutrient-rich food!

In fact, the term “calories” was nonexistent for much of human history! So more than focusing on calories, even, I love to focus on deeply nourishing and traditional foods.

The Problem With Most Calorie Calculators

Let's think about good ol' food tracking apps - they can be a great tool, but I can tell you right now if I plugged my own info into a calculator it would likely tell me to eat about 1500-1600 calories a day.

But the truth is, the very basic needs for most women between ages 18-30 is no less than 1800 calories, and that's not even including calories to account for exercise, stress, sweat, or keeping up with kids.

The takeaway here? Don't always trust online calorie calculators. Make sure you’re factoring in ALL the elements, like movement, nursing, pregnancy, etc.!

People don’t process calories identically, however - digestion, metabolism, and biology all influence how energy is used.

👉 Want my FREE guide? 5 SIMPLE real food family dinners!

What is BMR and why can't I trust it?

You may have heard of or seen the term BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) before, and the calorie needs and recommendations associated with it are typically in the range of 1400-1500, give or take.

So you're likely thinking, "Well why can't I just eat that amount…that's what I need in a day, right?"

The problem is that BMR only accounts for you acting like a potato all day long - it accounts for your organ function, your breathing, your heart-beating, your ability to sit there and do nothing but exist.

Your body is not a formula!

BMR doesn't account for any additional activity.

Not walking, not standing up, not unloading groceries or cardio or picking up children. Nothing. So you can imagine how your body would start to sacrifice things like libido, energy, hair staying strong and in place, regulated emotions, warmth, good sleep, a strong immune system, hormone balances, and ALL of the other activities that are secondary to simply staying alive (ah, ah, ah, ah staying alive 🎤).

This is often what’s happening when women feel exhausted, cold, or stuck despite trying to eat “correctly.”

Their body is adapting to undernourishment and their metabolism is slowing to conserve energy.

You can read my post on spotting a slow metabolism, here! 👉 10 Signs Your Metabolism Is Slowing Down (And Why You Might Not Be Eating Enough)

So What's Wrong With Just Cutting Calories to Lose Weight? (What’s Happens When You Eat Too Little:)

A calorie deficit (burning more than you take in) can certainly lead to a lower scale number. But let's not forget that weight loss doesn't equate to health, and the longer you go with too few calories, the more your body is going to sacrifice other secondary functions like fertility and safety and all of those other "extras" I mentioned above.

And calorie deficits were not meant to be used long term - but many of us get stuck there because we don’t know what else to do!

Eventually, you can't get out of the spiral and I'm sure so many of you have been there.

You:

+cut calories, your body loses weight and adapts to that lower calorie need, and then you have a binge, a date-night, a holiday, a week with a bit more food, or you simply get fed up with restriction, and the weight comes right back.

OR, you

+cut calories, lose weight, and then continue the cycle of cutting more and exercising more to maintain the weight loss, while watching your health tank in the process.

It's a seemingly never-ending tunnel. But there IS a way out.

What’s Wrong with Dieting?

To start? It’s EXHAUSTING.

Most of us were taught to approach food through restriction. Eat less. Avoid certain foods. Control your body.

But this approach often leads to:

• Slowed metabolism

• Increased cravings

• Hormonal imbalance

• Mental exhaustion

And over time, it creates a disconnect: You stop trusting your body. You stop recognizing hunger. You stop feeling satisfied.

We stop seeing food as the life-giving, enjoyable, gift it’s supposed to be. We stop enjoying date nights and girls’ outings and desserts with our kiddos.

This is why so many women feel stuck - doing everything “right,” but feeling worse.

We have to begin honoring our metabolism and providing our body with the caloric energy it needs. Calories, yes, but nutrient-dense, nourishing calories.

When we consistently under-eat, the body adapts by slowing down energy output, which is why so many women feel tired, cold, or stuck despite eating less.

Read more here: The Problem with Dieting

What Matters More Than Calories?

While I stand behind supporting our bio-energetic (cellular energy!) needs, the conversation is a both/and - we need caloric energy and it also goes deeper. We also need:

1. Nutrient density

• Mineral-rich food and drink

• A foundation of real, whole food

• Ancestral and historical foods (read more here!)

2. Consistency!

• Regular meals

• Getting off the food-cutting roller coaster

• Habits over perfection!

3. Metabolic support

• Eating enough

• Balanced meals

• Focusing on bio-available foods (i.e. the ones our bodies can assimilate nutrients from the best!)

Biblical Wisdom for Nourishment

Throughout Scripture, food is consistently shown as provision, not something to fear or control!

Food was never meant to be reduced to numbers. It was meant to nourish, sustain, and be received with gratitude.

Jesus’ very first miracle? Making a wedding feast even more enjoyable.

His last activity before death? Eating with his disciples.

And when he appeared to his disciples after his resurrection? He asked his disciples for food. Literally. “Have you anything here to eat?” Luke 24:41.

It makes me giggle every time! There is such a rich thread of food and nourishment throughout Scripture!

A More Nourishing Way to Approach Food

When we stop obsessing over numbers, start focusing on meals, choose real food, and eat enough - it moves the needle in our health and vibrancy.

If you’re tired of overthinking food and just want a simple way to eat that actually supports your body - that’s exactly the reason I created my Nourish book, too - it’s a no-tracking-required, no-dieting-required, jam-packed health guide and recipe book! It has:

• full page guides on building balanced breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks

• a weekly and daily nourishment guide to help meet your nutrient needs

• a 3 day meal plan example, as well as dozens of pairing examples for meals and snacks

• a “good-better-best” sourcing guide to help meet budget and availability needs

• a seasonal produce guide

• 40+ delicious and nourishing recipes!

If You’re Tired of Overthinking Food…

You’re in exactly the right place!

This is my life’s mission - because I’ve been there. I was a slave to the calorie and diet culture world for a long time.

And now? I experience a true enjoyment of my meals in a simple and sustainable way.

Here’s how I can help:

My FREE guide: 5 SIMPLE real food family dinners

My Nourish Cookbook: A Healthy Family Cookbook & Nutrition Guide

For a long time, I focused on helping women eat enough, often encouraging 2000+ calories or more.

And while that can be a helpful starting point (and I still stand by it), I’ve come to see that numbers alone don’t tell the full story.

Because true nourishment isn’t about hitting a target - it’s about supporting your body with consistency, balance, and wisdom.

Calories matter, but they are not the most helpful place to focus for most women. Because the goal isn’t to perfectly manage numbers or get lost in tracking.

The goal is to nourish your body in a way that supports energy, stability, and long-term health. And for most women, that doesn’t start with eating less, but with learning to eat enough, consistently and well.

Thanks for being here!